I want to update everyone on a last-minute change of status w/ my current treatment plan. Recently, I informed everyone that I was starting a new clinical trial on Feb. 26, 2018 (A New Clinical Trial) and created sign-up sheets for transportation/visitation at infusion visits and a meal assistance delivery schedule. This is all now being cancelled due to some new information I received late in the day on Friday.

My oncologist called to inform me that the research company had just disqualified me to participate in their new clinical trial. Though I don't entirely understand the exact reasoning for this, it has to do with the fact that I’ve previously undergone three different types of chemo/immunotherapy treatment protocols. Therefore, I am not eligible to participate in this clinical trial.

My oncologist is now putting me on another targeted chemo therapy treatment. I'm not yet certain of what the side effects will be, but they will likely be similar to the ones I've experienced so far in my journey in fighting cancer.

I don’t know exactly how long this regimen will last, but my oncologist will continue to carefully monitor any symptoms and I will visit him regularly for office visits and lab draws. Also, cancer scans will likely recur every three months or so to see the effect of my treatment. And adjustments will be made based off of scan results and how I’m handling the treatments.

On a personal note

I was very disappointed to hear the news about my disqualification of this new clinical trial. When it comes to treatment protocols, I’m reaching the end of possible options. So far, I’ve undergone four systematic chemo/immunotherapy treatments, along with three surgical resections. Unfortunately, the aggressive treatments have been unable to keep my cancer from growing.

I will continue to fight, especially for my wife. She deserves the best from me when it comes to battling this beast. To fiercely fight so that I can walk a long life with her. But, at this point in my cancer journey, I have to start accepting the fact that I may not win this fight.

To be honest, when I learned the news that my cancer is growing, it knocked me off my emotional, mental and spiritual footing. And I’ve yet been able to steady my footing to face off against this beast inside me. However, this I do know: He will never leave my side. He will be by my side from this life to the next. And I pray that His Presence will shine brighter each day on this journey.

I will continue to fight this beast, however, for those who are praying for me, please join me now in this prayer:

“Dear God, I pray that You will continue to walk with me on this path. And give me Your Strength, Peace and Faithfulness. Let me feel You as I walk down this path; comfort me with Your Presence each day of my life. ‘Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.’ Help me face my own mortality. And if this beast does takes me, please receive this wretched man into Your loving hands.

“But know this my Lord, I would trade a Thousand Years in Heaven for another day with my wife. She is my north star; my true love song. So, give me the strength of David, the Faith of Abraham, and the tenacious spirit of Paul. Let this be my greatest fight.

“And thank you Lord for those You have placed in my life. They are my strength as well, and some even filled the empty void in me and given me the gift of true kinship. I pray that You watch over them, giving them Your love, peace and grace. And give them blessings and a good life.

“May Your Holy Spirit preserve me in this faith…until I see you.

“And this I know: the life that I have now is truly a gift from You, through the grace and atonement through Your Only Son, Jesus Christ.”

Amen.

ajh