“For I live in eager expectation and hope that I will never do anything that will cause me to be ashamed of myself but that I will always be ready to speak out boldly for [Yeshua] while I am going through all these trials here, just as I have in the past; and that I will always be an honor to [Yeshua], whether I live or whether I must die. For to me, living means opportunities for [Yeshua], and dying—well, that’s better yet!” (Philippians 1:20-21)
“I will never leave your side. When you move on from this life to the next, My Presence beside you will shine brighter with each step. You have nothing to fear, because I am with you for all time and throughout eternity.” (Sarah Young, Jesus Calling, pg. 237)
One of my favorite routines in life is getting up early in the morning while it is still dark and quiet, pouring myself a cup of hot coffee, and sitting down in our kitchen nook. And then I open up the Bible, along with a devotional and journal lying next to it. With a child-like eagerness and anticipation...like a young boy sitting on his father’s lap...I begin to read and hope for something that will resonate in my heart. When I come across a scripture verse that seems to tug at my heart, I open up my journal and begin to write. I allow the pen to dance alongside the stirring within my heart.
When I was diagnosed with advanced Stage IV cancer...
I struggled for some time on how to write about it. After my first diagnosis with cancer in 2013, I journaled mostly about the event itself – i.e., surgery, chemotherapy, side effects, etc. When the cancer had metastasized to another part of my body in 2016, I notated about my perspective on life’s meaning and lessons gained from having cancer, which led to one of my blogs being published by a third party (“For the First Time, My Wife Thanked God for My Cancer”). However, I rather not journal entirely about me this time having advanced Stage IV cancer. My hope and prayer, if you continue reading my blogs on this site, is that you will see God in my writing, treatment, and life. And by seeing Him in me, you will be blessed with the hope that you can see Him...as I see the Father.
Just as a young boy sitting on his father’s lap waiting in anticipation for a blessing, such as a toy or loving hug, I invite you to join me and sit around His chair during my morning devotionals. I can’t tell you how, where, or when the Father will give a blessing, but I do know this: we will indeed walk away with some type of blessing. But, we cannot force our prayers unto Him, just like you can't fit the ocean into a bucket.
We have to accept whatever blessing He so chooses to give you and I.
Author and cancer survivor Lynn Eib writes:
“God will bring [a] blessing through your trial because you matter greatly to Him and He longs to show you that. He may bless you with physical healing, or He may bless you by healing you emotionally of some deep-seated hurts. He may bless you spiritually with the joy of knowing Him in a way you never have before. Or he may bless others through you in unimaginable ways.”
I do seek a blessing from Him. However, as I've fought cancer for just over four years, I’ve learned to give up my own will and surrender to His.
So, join me.
Pour yourself a cup of hot coffee.
And sit with me.
Let's together wait and see what He has to say.
I know one thing for certain, we’ll walk away with a blessing…guaranteed!
Prayer Request: “Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that out of your glorious riches you may strengthen me with power through your Spirit in my inner being, so that Yeshua may dwell in my heart, and through my faith. As a small boy sitting on his father’s lap, show me how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Yeshua, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that I will be filled to the measure of all the fullness of your love. Amen.”
Clinical Note: I’ve finished my first infusion treatment on Friday, Aug. 11. I will have to undergo an infusion every two weeks for over a year.